Club Members Gifts

"I don't like the look of that new member."

'We're here for the big chest tournament.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Men drinking

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Geek wears T-shirt that points to his friend and says: 'I'm with someone who fails to grasp the key principles of modular representation theory.'

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

'Be wormier!'

The not so easy rider...

'Good news dear you have finally been accepted as a member of 'The explorer's club!'

We couldn't convince the football players to give up their bottled water. Hmpf. As eco club president

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

A FAREWELL TO ARMS ERNEST HEMINGWAY

Wordilly Durdillies - Rotery club

Botanical Gardens - Our Weeding Group Meets Mondays 3pm.

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

The Coen Brothers of Science.

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

'It suprises me you want your files organized.

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."