Sports Club Member Gifts

'. . . You haven't paid your subs.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Back to school.

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Table tennis.

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Men drinking

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

Geek wears T-shirt that points to his friend and says: 'I'm with someone who fails to grasp the key principles of modular representation theory.'

Lady to lady about disguised lady: 'She's new to our Secret Sister program.'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

Football

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

"Joe and Pete, you two should be averaging way more rebounds."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

'It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more...' Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

'Be wormier!'

'Good news dear you have finally been accepted as a member of 'The explorer's club!'

We couldn't convince the football players to give up their bottled water. Hmpf. As eco club president

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

Wordilly Durdillies - Rotery club

Botanical Gardens - Our Weeding Group Meets Mondays 3pm.

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.