Mathletics Club Member Gifts

Geek wears T-shirt that points to his friend and says: 'I'm with someone who fails to grasp the key principles of modular representation theory.'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Table tennis.

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Men drinking

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

The Ten Resolutions

We couldn't convince the football players to give up their bottled water. Hmpf. As eco club president

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

'Good news dear you have finally been accepted as a member of 'The explorer's club!'

'Be wormier!'

Karate club.

You're stuck in a lousy health club membership, too?

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

'Well actually, mine's a keyboard!'

Santa Works Out