Club Goer Gifts

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"No long-playing records allowed."

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

The Illiterate's Club.

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

'Bacon's here. So's lettuce and tomato. Just waitin' on bread.'

'I knew he was intelligent when he agreed with everything I said'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Come here often...

"Are you blind? I'm wearing a tie!"

'This is just the warm up.'

'Do ya feel it? It's like a dahk, smelly cloud descended on us. Somethin' rotten...somethin'...EVIL!'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Quixotic Dancers.

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

Ok, I'll meet you at the Optimist Club unless I get hit by a bus or something.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

In a reverse universe. We say it's a wine drinking club, but the wine is really just an excuse to get together and discuss books.

Freedom Day: Please Rave Responsibly

"They're sampling our song."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"It feels good to unwind..."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"What other tricks does he need?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

Dancing at the Clubs.

"The club scene is really changing."

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

The Walk of Shame

Dance.

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Dog Bar with Toilets.