Nightclub Goer Gifts

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Dance.

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Punctuation Karaoke Night

Shake it like a Polaroid picture...

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Burlyesque

Dance Dance Dance.

"Would you like to dance?"

Bouncer.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

"I've been dying to hit the dance floor in a crowded nightclub."

Still a mystery to scientists, honey bees will 'dance' for the other hive members in order to signify the exact location of flowers to be pollinated.

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

Red Hat Society.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

'Watch out -she goes for anything in trousers.'

"Jerk! They know me here!!"