Commodity Connoisseur Gifts

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

Satis Factory Tour

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

Dollar

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Company take-over bid

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

A railway station covered in advertising.

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

Cattle farmer's super-market