Commodity Connoisseur Gifts

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

Satis Factory Tour

Moliere

Dollar

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

C Day Lewis.

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

Charles Dickens.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

Company take-over bid

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

A railway station covered in advertising.

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'