Commodities Enthusiast Gifts

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Wall Street Couch

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Why markets crash.

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'Globalsiation risky? How d'you mean?'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

Conservative Leadership Renounces Protectionism

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Grocery Shopping

Cuba united against blocking off the country

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

Wall Street Investing.

'I couldn't sleep so I decided to do some on-line trading.'

TTIP

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

'Fresh eggs!'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

A graph falling off the chart and through the floor.