Commodities Connoisseur Gifts

'All the gold that's ever been mined would make a cube 68 feet on a side, but that doesn't include rapper teeth, in which case it's 150.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Slow food restaurant

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Moliere

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'