Commerce Connoisseur Gifts

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"He's an abstract artist."

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

Supply Chain

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"It's called 'Sold'."

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

"Who's the artist?"

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Music to their ears.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'