Commercial Connoisseur Gifts

'It won't bother us if we're not allowed to aim our ads at the kids. The adults are easier to fool anyway.'

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

'It's five dollars cheaper if you watch the commercials.'

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

A railway station covered in advertising.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

Dr. Burgerman's Jingle Removal

Ads falling out of a magazine.

'He's the perfect telly commercial husband - looks vague, useless and utterly stupid.'

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"As you know our marketing budget is small. We need to make a really bad commercial and hope it goes viral!"

No poking doughboy

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Men's business romper.

"He's an abstract artist."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"It's called 'Sold'."

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

Satis Factory Tour

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."