Commercial Connoisseur T-Shirts

'It won't bother us if we're not allowed to aim our ads at the kids. The adults are easier to fool anyway.'

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

'It's five dollars cheaper if you watch the commercials.'

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

A railway station covered in advertising.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

Dr. Burgerman's Jingle Removal

Ads falling out of a magazine.

'He's the perfect telly commercial husband - looks vague, useless and utterly stupid.'

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"As you know our marketing budget is small. We need to make a really bad commercial and hope it goes viral!"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Men's business romper.

"He's an abstract artist."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

"It's called 'Sold'."

Satis Factory Tour

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

"Who's the artist?"

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

Creative department ?

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."