Consumer Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Satis Factory Tour

Moliere

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

A railway station covered in advertising.

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Social Media Strategy Session. The more friends and family people see on our site, the personal information they'll post. Familiarity breeds content!

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

No poking doughboy