Collection Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

S**t Threw a Goose

Moliere

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'That holds the ashes of my former business partner. He was always looking for ways to downsize.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

"Do you do these in sheep?"

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

I'm sorry, they don't make dresses large on the inside and small on the outside!

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"It depends on what attitude you wish to convey. This, for example, is part of our 'contempt' line."