Ash Collection Connoisseur T-Shirts

'That holds the ashes of my former business partner. He was always looking for ways to downsize.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Men gossiping

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Moliere

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Bleak House

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Charles Dickens.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"Hold that afterthought!"