Catalog Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I'm worried. Christmas is still several months away and we haven't received a single gift catalog."

"What catalogs are you reading today?"

'I'd like to order some underwear from your catalog, but, would you transfer me to a female customer representative. . .'

"Pick any three items and they're yours"

'Hey, here's a good deal! If we buy something, they'll stop sending catalogs for a week!'

"It's just another catalog previewing all the stuff coming tomorrow in the next catalog."

"I always get these things and I don't know why. I'm not a collector!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

Bleak House

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'What terrible pre-Christmas gift catalogue have you got hold of now?'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."