Catalog Connoisseurs T-Shirts

Chimp with mail-order anthill.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'I hope you are not playing God again . . .'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

'What terrible pre-Christmas gift catalogue have you got hold of now?'

"Do you do these in sheep?"

I'm sorry, they don't make dresses large on the inside and small on the outside!

"It depends on what attitude you wish to convey. This, for example, is part of our 'contempt' line."

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

'Do you buy any chance have a gazelle print shirt?'

"It's not just a special advertising section,- it's a very special advertising section."