Cologne Connoisseur T-Shirts

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"I've invented a cologne that makes cow smell like humans, so mosquitoes are attracted to cows."

"Do you have anything that reeks of power?"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

I could have danced all night!

Party Animals.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"I love this time of day."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"You're never home."

Dog Walker

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."