Catalog Connoisseur Gifts

'I ordered it from the catalog.'

"I'm worried. Christmas is still several months away and we haven't received a single gift catalog."

"It's from Neiman-Marcus. We've been pre-approved to receive their catalog."

"What catalogs are you reading today?"

'I'd like to order some underwear from your catalog, but, would you transfer me to a female customer representative. . .'

"Pick any three items and they're yours"

'Hey, here's a good deal! If we buy something, they'll stop sending catalogs for a week!'

"It's just another catalog previewing all the stuff coming tomorrow in the next catalog."

"I always get these things and I don't know why. I'm not a collector!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

Moliere

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Bleak House

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."