Commercial Critique Connoisseur Gifts

'Customers aren't paying us because our ads claim that our siding will pay for itself!'

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Roads with a view.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"My kid could do that."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

Sculptor's chippings

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

Barbed Pen

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"He's a mental-health critic."

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

A railway station covered in advertising.

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

Film Critic

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

"It's too academic."