Commercial Critique Enthusiast Gifts

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

Roads with a view.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Would anybody else like to ask a question before the stewards get to them?

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Girl's weight issues.

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"This is Mr. Norris. He'll be coming on board as a human shield."

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

"Something tells me his demands may be difficult to meet."

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

'I'm appalled, the bank's limited my bonus to 'grossly sickening' when I've earned 'outrageous'.'

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

Corporate Responsibility - All front with nothing behind it.

'I want you to make this company as perfect as it looks in our TV commercial spots.'

"It's agreed, then—we look for a new place for lunch."

'Okay, I'll do one more dog food commercial, but I don't want to get typecast.'

If they didn't show commercials, people would not know what to buy.

"My dad doesn't give me enough credit. He thinks if I watch TV all day long the commercials will influence everything I do."

'With NBC all those years, and never a bonus, stock option or retirement plan...'