Commercial Critique Gifts

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"And if you sign up for our Gold Star membership level we stop pestering you to sign up."

If they didn't show commercials, people would not know what to buy.

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to by stuff they don't need at prices they can't afford."

Roads with a view.

'I'm being typecast, Max! Please NO more toothpaste commercials!'

Pill for that.

'Why, he's referring to us as 'Brand X'!'

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

"They finally did it! They put 33 minutes of commercials into a 30-minute show."

"He forgot to record his show, so he had to watch it live. 693 commercials in one hour was too much for him to handle."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

'Side effects may include....'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

Finally! There comes my most important man!

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

CATCHY NAME

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

Privatized Jails

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

Posters of the Sahara

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"