Commercial Critique Gifts

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"And if you sign up for our Gold Star membership level we stop pestering you to sign up."

If they didn't show commercials, people would not know what to buy.

"Advertising is the art of convincing people to by stuff they don't need at prices they can't afford."

"Before I pronounce you man and wife, a brief message from Archer Daniels Midland."

Roads with a view.

'I'm being typecast, Max! Please NO more toothpaste commercials!'

Pill for that.

'Why, he's referring to us as 'Brand X'!'

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

"They finally did it! They put 33 minutes of commercials into a 30-minute show."

"He forgot to record his show, so he had to watch it live. 693 commercials in one hour was too much for him to handle."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

'Side effects may include....'

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

Finally! There comes my most important man!

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

CATCHY NAME

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Privatized Jails

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."