Commercial Critique Fan Gifts

"Use Kivimo for ten days. If not completely satisfied,you have a very negative personality."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'And this will be our strategic plan for the coming year.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Golden parachutes inc. - 'Our pleas for bail-out funds were ignored.'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Roads with a view.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

Privatized Jails

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

The Calmocracy

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

"Do we wait for it to be approved as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as furniture polish?"

Where Are They Now?

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

"Wow, we're doing great."

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

'We don't believe in treating people like a number. Here, you'll be treated like a slave.'

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

BP's Spill Bill

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

'How do you like the new incentive scheme?'

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"