Critic Connoisseur Gifts

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

Stern looking woman sitting at a service window labeled "Complaints".

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"My kid could do that."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Sculptor's chippings

Moliere

"My bouche was not amused."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

C Day Lewis.

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

Charles Dickens.

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Barbed Pen

"He's a mental-health critic."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"It's too academic."

Film Critic

'... And that's all from this bulletin. But I'll be back with more bad news at six.'

Comment on food.