Commentary Connoisseur Gifts

"The end is near!" "That's true!"

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"That got very big on him."

Sculptor's chippings

RIP Richie

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

Violent news

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Totalitarian Humour

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"My bouche was not amused."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

Barbed Pen

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"He's a mental-health critic."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"It's too academic."

The First Asshole