Controversy Connoisseur Gifts

The elephant in the room.

Djokovic Judged

"Mr. Billings isn't avaliable now. Would you like to speak to his apologist?"

"Forget about old-fashioned TV ads. Nowadays you need a juicy sh******m!"

"I'm offended by everything these days."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

'Time I think for a beachfront Damien Hirst honour killing.'

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

Alternative names for the Washington Redskins

Hillary Clinton being interviewed.

Gauntlet Cards, Respond at Your Own Risk

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

Totalitarian Humour

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Sculptor's chippings

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"My bouche was not amused."

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."