Contentious Conversations Connoisseur Gifts

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Men gossiping

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"My kid could do that."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

Sculptor's chippings

Trappist talk show.

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Silly News.

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"Hold that afterthought!"

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'This is our real-time chat room.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"She never has a bad word to say about anyone, she's always too busy talking about herself..."