Conversation Aficionado Gifts

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Could I ask just one question?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here But You Will Be After The Training.

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

Attention Span Man

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.