Colloquial Connoisseur Gifts

'Hey man! I never did trust those Latino stud muffins.'

"'Oh, bother' now and then is nothing to worry about, but a 'For Cryin' Out Loud' could mean trouble!"

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

S**t Threw a Goose

Sculptor's chippings

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Trappist talk show.

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

"Hold that afterthought!"

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'