Overthinking Connoisseur Gifts

"I am haunted by the idea that the basic axioms on which the arithmetic is based may invalidate these computations."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

S**t Threw a Goose

Sculptor's chippings

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

Barbed Pen

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."