Criticism Connoisseur Gifts

NHS transformation

'I'd like to respond to that criticism by saying that I'm rubber, and you're glue.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"My kid could do that."

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"Enough already with the TripAdvisor reviews."

Judgeasaurus

Artist and buyer

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

Totalitarian Humour

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

The Forever Stamp

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Sculptor's chippings

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"My bouche was not amused."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Barbed Pen

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"He's a mental-health critic."