Corporate Connoisseur Gifts

Warren Buffett

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'I have too much power... but I'm not complaining.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

Men's business romper.

'Profit or non-profit?'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

"As you can see, the company's performance has been strong."

"Anybody want to merge with a steel mill?"

"My needs are simple. Costly, but simple."

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

"Give them what they want? Don't be an idiot. We'll make them want what we give."

"In these times of fiscal austerity, I think it's important that we all stop asking about my year-end bonus."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

The MBA Draft

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."