Corporate Comedy Connoisseur Gifts

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

It's the board's idea, I wanted a new set of golf clubs.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say we're pursuing bankruptcy. It's more like bankruptcy is pursuing us."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

Men's business romper.

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Farm Humor.

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

The Trojan Beagle.

Happy Hour