Office Comedy Connoisseur Gifts

"Ebersoll was suspected of tax fraud, taking bribes and money laundering but nothing could be proved against him - the most important condition for a meteoric career!"

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'He likes to power nap.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

The Trojan Beagle.

Happy Hour

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Bangers and Mash

Emergency Phone.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The Snarky District

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'