Office Drama Connoisseur Gifts

'There's quite a power struggle going on.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"Quicksand in a modern office building? Don't be silly."

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"I'll tell you what I'm looking for! I'm looking for a yes man, Jenson. Do you think you could fit that bill?"

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

Inbox, Outbox, and Down & Out Box.

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

On the house

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.