Office Drama Fan Gifts

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Run for it, sir—the cops!"

'Unless you need more time to rake her over the coals, the third member of your party is here to join you.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Benign so far."

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"He was much more effective in the field."

'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'