Desk Drama Fan Gifts

"Can I help you?"

"If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer to interview you from the other side of the desk."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Theatre Crowd

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"It's no good Charlie, I'm done for! You've got to go it alone, Charlie. You've got to go on and nail that presentation! Nail it for me!"

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

Eurydice in prison

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

'Right, how can I help you?' 'Your wife is having it off with my husband!'

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'I think those rumors about you giving yourself a $10 million raise while laying off thousands finally reached the employees. Now I suggest we run!'

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."