Office Drama Devotee Gifts

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.

"Bad news. I've been fired! I was mouthing silent obscenities at the boss and forgot we don't wear masks at work anymore."

'The staff is getting slack Simkins - mention the word 'redundancy'.'

'... and sign it 'shovingly up yours'.'

Inbox, Outbox, and Down & Out Box.

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."