Office Melodrama Enthusiast Gifts

"That was fun—Now you're rehired."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Good news, chief, a computer virus destroyed all our documents."

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Inside the Bermuda Romantic Triangle

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"Thank God your mother didn't live to see what you've become."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'