Commodities Connoisseur Pillows

'All the gold that's ever been mined would make a cube 68 feet on a side, but that doesn't include rapper teeth, in which case it's 150.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Mayo-A-Mayo

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Slow food restaurant

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

The staple grains tended to look down on the more specialized fare... like quinoa.

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'