Grocery Connoisseur Pillows

"I got your Postum, but they were right out of twenty-five-cent Marianne Moore stamps."

Fancy, Extra Fancy, and Reality Fruits

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Too much cilantro

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

A Day In The Kitchen

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Regular service or affected?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'