Condiment Connoisseur Gifts

Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'Please pass the Grey Purr-r-pon.'

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

'I don't suppose you have a bottle of ketchup, do you, Dad?'

The Mayo Clinic

Henry J, Heinz

Condiment Counselling

'Sorry, I don't have any water -- But how about some Grey Poupon?'

Mayo-A-Mayo

According to industry newsletters, ketchup remains the world's most popular condiment. Mustard continues to be pretty lame, and sorta jealous.

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Catsup vs Ketsup.

No table salt. - 'Right.' - 'Still no table salt.' - 'Okay.' - 'Table Salt!!!' - 'I wanted pepper.' -

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'That's the last time I ask the Walkers to dinner. They offered to bring the ketchup.'

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"How do I tell a diner 'no ketchup' in a courteous, yet condescending way?"

'Pardon me...would you have any Grey Poupon?'

Some students are keener than others.

'Let there be lite...er, wait. Let me try that again.'

'Thousand Island.'

A vampire about to use mayonnaise on his new victim.

Hot Dogs. Chili Kraut Cheese. Ernie's so lazy he won't get a hot dog with the "works."

You're being sent to a deserted island. Go on. But you can only take one condiment. What would it be? I know this. Not ketchup, or mustard, or mayo … Guacamole! Another bachelor quiz aced. I weep for humanity.

Me, I'd pair ketchup with a box of red, but I'd pair mustard with a box of white. Hot dogs.

Relax, Gloria. As a nod to healthy eating, you'll notice I ordered the extra mayo in the side.

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

"Needs ketchup."

"Ladies, ladies. There's enough of me to go around."

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

Jersey Catsup.

"Ah — excellent catsup."