Condiment Enthusiast Gifts

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

A production line adds condiments to cars

Flying Sauces

"I wish I was special."

'Grey Poupon, Grey Poupon, Grey Poupon!'

'I'm the sauce chef. I'm supposed to put sauce on everything.'

'Frankly, I don't know how we ever got along before we had ketchup.'

"I see ketchup from the burger place and mustard from the hot dog place. Your shirt is a browser history of what you've eaten."

Chutney

"Check it out! This is sooo cool! Red ketchup!"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Can I give you a slice of the action?

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Flying sauces.

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Thou Shalt Not!

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

Tabletop Theatre

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'