Comical Breakup Observer Gifts

"Face it, it was never going to work. I think with the right side of the brain...and you think with the wrong one."

"My computer just texted me."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

Glimpses One Dollar

"Hey! This is news."

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

Men and Women's changing rooms

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

"What they hell are we looking at."

'Mismatched Mantras'

"How's the gastric band working out?"

Copenhagen Three Degrees.

"I'm sorry, Sparky... I don't think we're a good fit."

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

Self-Improvement/Self-Involvement

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

My cousins from Barcelona show up announced and have been here for weeks! The Spanish imposition!

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

"Look, I'm very sorry Judy but I really feel I need a new porpoise in life."

Go over there and say something...