Humor Observer Gifts

'You're lying. I can read you like a book.'

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Dolphin friendly tuna

Cow's straw

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

On the brink.

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Gym Dog

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

Pea

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

"They don't look like an endangered species."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Your right.. It is waving back at us."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

"That's Doctor Good Boy to you."

Puppy and Elephant Selfie

'I can't draw', Permanent Market on Canvas $10,975 - SOLD.

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

"Wouldn't it be nice to slip into a simple little black number for a change?"

"Very good, everyone. . . except I head that scream again. Ok, let's try it again from the top."