Comical Antics Observer Gifts

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

Office block moving to the suburbs.

Cat drinking baby's bottle of milk.

Elderly Dating

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

Big Mouthed Boat about to swallow fish swallowing fish and so on.

Playpen Jailbreak.

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

Self-Improvement/Self-Involvement

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

Go over there and say something...

'I traded mine in for a bicycle helmet!'

'Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family....in another state....'

Actualities - 'I'd rather see a hurricane whirling through my garden than one of these devilish crinolines!'

'He's been teasing the cat.'

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

'Peeping Tom? Oh no, that's Peeping George. He lives next door.'

"I'm thinking of having her declawed."

-it's for our little grandson...

"The Joneses are keeping up with us-they've bought a clapped out old banger!"

"I liked it better before when we didn't know enough about the Deavers to dislike them."