Comical Antics Observer Pillows

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

Office block moving to the suburbs.

Cat drinking baby's bottle of milk.

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

Elderly Dating

Big Mouthed Boat about to swallow fish swallowing fish and so on.

Playpen Jailbreak.

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

Relax, she's a teen – of course she acts like we don't exist.

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

Self-Improvement/Self-Involvement

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

Go over there and say something...

Actualities - 'I'd rather see a hurricane whirling through my garden than one of these devilish crinolines!'

'I traded mine in for a bicycle helmet!'

'Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family....in another state....'

'He's been teasing the cat.'

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

"I'm thinking of having her declawed."

'Peeping Tom? Oh no, that's Peeping George. He lives next door.'

"I liked it better before when we didn't know enough about the Deavers to dislike them."

"The Joneses are keeping up with us-they've bought a clapped out old banger!"