Comedy Observer Gifts

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

Watching Strangers Undress: Peep Show and Airport Security.

Star Wars vs Star Trek

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

100 best beheadings

"My computer just texted me."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"Hey! This is news."

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

Glimpses One Dollar

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

Sir Oliver Murgatroyd

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

'Good news is that after two weeks buried in this desert, nobody will call us 'Paleface' anymore!'

Men and Women's changing rooms

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

Our Founder portrait looking over boss's shoulder.

Pop up hell

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"What they hell are we looking at."

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

"The organism is so rare there are no Chicken Soup for the Soul books dedicated to it."

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

Elderly Dating

Tiger Woods.

'Mismatched Mantras'

"How's the gastric band working out?"