Comical Hypocrisy Observer Gifts

"We've got some seriously creepy neighbours."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

TV and man

'I wouldn't worry about going before your time. You're too old to die young.'

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

"Die alone"

"Some other news, China declares war on Peru, ISIS blows up the pyramids and the pope resigns. Now back to more comments from David Bowie fans."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

"Don't touch that Jake! It's bad for you!"

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'I'm afraid we're not able to offer you a raise but in five years you could be in line to get your own work pencil.'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."

Elderly Dating

'Well done, Goldsmith. You handled yourself like an old pro' in there.'

Road signs point to various things to buy including "women's wear", "office supplies" and "household appliances".

"With all due respect, I prefer the term 'con artisan'."

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

"No apology after making us orphans."