Satire Observer Gifts

Leadership Camp bus followed by Followers Camp

Post office: as seen on TV.

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'Frankly, I expected more musketry.'

"It's looking good - They're getting smaller all the time!"

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Torturing the English Language

Pretty Flowers

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

UK border controls relaxed.

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

The height of fashion in 1796

reincarnated worm...

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

How about going easy on the carbs

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!