Satire Spectator Gifts

"Look out it's the naked Chef!"

'Ooh look, you've got a free lucky horseshoe with your giant meatballs.'

"Be careful what you say, Senator. Putting your foot in your mouth greatly increases the risk of athlete's gum."

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"You're fired."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Occu-Pie Mars

"This position has become very important to the company."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Hollywood Sign Developers

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

Support the Ex-Troops

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

They're Not Just That Into It

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Director/Action Man toy.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'